Come to think of it the term “outside” which everybody uses is redundant. Of course the weather is outside. I suppose if you live in a really bad shack it could be snowing inside, though.
A homeowner over on Long Road has an amateur weather station in his backyard and his gauges show it’s 22 degrees outside, but it feels like half that. What’s more, it’s not going to change for the next three days.
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| Out my front window. No traffic, no squirrels, no old people going for a walk...nothing |
Reading and playing 10 minute games on line using goofy openings has been the plan of the day for the past few days and looks like it will remain so at least until the weekend.
Yury Markushin, an amateur, has put together an extensive website called ChessWorld. He published one article listing five openings not recommended for players of any level. With a brief synopsis of his reasons not to play them, they are:
Barnes Opening (1.f3)
This is probably one of the worst choices. Not only this move does not take control of the center, blocks an important f3 square for the N, doesn’t allow development of any pieces and it seriously weakens safety of white’s K.
Ware Opening (1.a4)
Anyone who plays it is most likely a complete beginner. It is possible to transpose into some sort of reversed Scandinavian or a variation of Four Knights game, but you will be few tempi behind.
Grob Attack (1.g4)
This opening is classified as an irregular opening and proudly competes for one of the worst first opening moves that white can make. There are some advocates for this opening, who state that an average player will most likely not know how refute it. There are some simple traps associated with black responding 1…d5 which can be easily bypassed by using common-sense. Against correct play white will end up with an inferior position, behind in development. Actually, I love this one!
Clemenz Opening (1.h3)
This may transpose into the Grob Attack. It is a time-wasting move that does not accomplish anything constructive. It only wastes a tempo and creates a weakness on the K-side.
Mr. Markushin does not mention several other equally suspect debuts. I have played most all of these openings with varying success in 10 minute online games. The truth is, no matter what opening you play the stronger player is probably going to win. Ergo, the success rate is irrelevant.
The Desprez Opening (1.h4).
This does nothing in either the fight for the center or for white’s development and it weakens the K-side.
St. George Defense (1...a6)
Black prepares to advance on the Q-side with 2...b5, but allows white to occupy the center with 2.d4. The opening gained some attention after Anthony Miles used it to defeat Anatoly Karpov in 1980.
Borg Defense (1...g5)
That’s Grob spelled backwards. It’s also known as the Basman Defense, after British IM Michael Basman. The move weakens the K-side severely, but according to Modern Chess Openings (MCO), Black is only somewhat worse.
Carr Defence (1...h6)
This defense has also been used by Basman, and can transpose to the Borg after 2.d4 g5.
Corn Stalk Defense (1...a5)
US master Preston Ware played it in eleven known tournament games from 1880 to 1882, winning four and losing seven.
Lemming Defense (1...Na6)
It just develops the knight to an inferior square.
Goldsmith Defense (1...h5)
Also known as the Pickering Defense, all this move achieves is to waste a tempo and weaken the K-side.
Duras Gambit (1...f5)
This is also known as the Fred Defense. It’s a Pawn sacrifice which gives black a lead in development after 1.e4 f5 2.exf5 Nf6, but without much compensation for the sacrificed for it. The line was played three times in an exhibition match between Ossip Bernstein and Oldřich Duras.
Adams Defense (1...Nh6)
Also known as the Wild Bull, this has little to recommend for it.
Barnes Defense (1...f6), reverse Barnes Opening which makes it even worse. The fact that Barnes used 1...f6 once to defeat Morphy doesn't mean anything because Morphy's poor play later was responsible for his loss, not the defense. Both are named after English master Thomas Wilson Barnes (1825–1874) who was one of the leading British masters of his time. To Barnes' credit, he does have a good variation of the Ruy Lopez named after him (1.e4 e5 2.Nf3 Nc6 3.Bb5 g6) although today it's better known as the Smyslov Defense.
Edmar Mednis claimed that 1.f3 is the worst possible opening move, but I’ve been experimenting with it a lot in online 10 minute games. I have been playing 1.f3 followed by Nh3 and Nf2. It’s worked out quite well mostly because my opponents have tried an immediate refutation and have ignored commonsense rules of development and control of the center. A few times luck was on my side when they got better games then blundered. Of course, the situation has also been reversed a few times because, sad to say, I am not immune to blunders myself.
I have played 1.f3 twice in "serious" correspondence games. Both opponents answered with 1...e5 and proceeded to score crushing victories. These were in games where engine use is permitted and so the conclusion is that all the bad things said about 1.f3 are true if you are playing Grandmasters. Average opponents are far less likely to come up with a refutation.
After 1.f3 e5 some players continue with the nonsensical 2.Kf2, which is sometimes called the Fried Fox Attack, Wandering King Opening, The Hammerschlag, Tumbleweed, the Pork Chop Opening, or the Half Bird .
Despite its obvious deficiencies, 1.f3 does not lose the game, but black can secure a comfortable advantage by advancing central pawns and rapidly developing pieces to assert control over the center.
No matter which of these silly openings/defenses you play, at some point (the sooner the better) you are going to have to play according to sound opening principles and so some of the less outlandish moves will simply be a wasted move and will have resulted in a loss of time. Others will leave you with a permanent weakness that you may or may not regret depending on how well you opponent plays.
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