The other day I was looking through some old papers and
discovered a State Incorporation certificate from the mid-1970’s that reminded
me of the time I was (sort of) in the chess business. A friend approached me about starting a
corporation with some rather ill-defined objectives of making money from our
mutual interest in chess. At the time I
was working 10-12 hours a day six days a week so had absolutely no
interest. He was adamant though stating
that he needed another person to list on the State required paperwork, so I
told him OK, put me down as one of the officers, but he would have to pay the
incorporation fee. Agreed.
Then one day at the chess club he was talking about instituting
a rating system and going into competition with the USCF but I managed to
convince him that wasn’t such a good idea.
The next idea he came up with was holding a tournament and that sounded
doable. The only problem was we needed a
tournament director and that meant somebody had to take the USCF test. We both studied for it and when I took it, it
was at work after a cursory, halfhearted effort at preparing. I failed, but he passed so we had our
director. He set up the whole tournament
by himself because I was working so many hours.
He wanted to offer a prize fund of $1000 which back in the
mid-1970’s was equal to about $4000 today.
I warned him not to guarantee the
prize fund though because he (we, the corporation) could lose non-existent
money, but he guaranteed it anyway. Finally
on the weekend of the tournament I stopped in at the site on Saturday after
work to see how it was going. Actually I
was surprised because there were several masters playing, including one
IM. But there was a problem. There weren’t enough entries to cover the
prize fund. He was $300 short which he
said he would cover out of his personal funds.
He told me there was some other guy whom I didn’t know who had also
signed the incorporation papers who would probably come up with $100 and I
should do the same. Now, in 1975, $300
was about the equivalent of $1200 today and I felt sorry for the guy because he
was acting so pathetic at having to cough up $300 of his own money, so I said
OK I’d give him the $100. The other guy
never did.
Then one day after the last round of the State championship he
approached me and asked for a ride home because his car was broken down and
would have to remain at the out of town dealer for several days. Of course I gave him a ride home and, at his
insistence, he gave me a brand new top of the line chess clock as payment for
the ride home. That’s when I discovered
he had purchased a bunch of them to sell.
He told me not to worry though, it wouldn’t cost me anything, the ‘corporation’
was paying for it. He never sold any.
His next brainstorm was a magazine. I thought he was going to do something weekly
for the local chess club so wrote a couple of articles for it. Then one day I got an international money
order in the mail from some master in Mexico to pay for a subscription to the
magazine. I called my ‘partner’ and
asked him about it. It seems he had
printed up $200 worth of the magazines, $800 in today’s value, and mailed them
out to chessplayers all over the US, Canada and Mexico. Subscriptions were to be sent to me! I have no
idea where he got the mailing lists, but he then informed me, “I hope the guy
doesn’t get too mad that he ain’t getting no more magazines.” It seems his wife had flipped out about the
money he spent getting the magazine printed and the postage, not to mention the
tournament fiasco and the chess clock venture.
What was the name of the magazine and what was in it? I have no idea; I never saw one!
I finally manged to convince him there was no money to be made in chess and it might be best to abandon the whole idea and he agreed. The corporation was eventually terminated by the State.
He wasn’t done though.
One day I was looking through the local newspaper classified ads and saw
his new business venture…computerized horoscopes for $3.00 apiece.
That was wonderful story, and it has the ring of pure truth! Are you sure your friend didn't grow up to be the Executive Director of the USCF? Those business methods sound familiar.
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