85 Reasons Why You Lose

I was looking over Bill Wall’s chess page and when I saw an article titled Reasons Why You Lose at Chess I had to check it out! So, thanks to Mr. Wall, here are the real reasons why we lose somewhat updated by me.
1-2011 is what he said; I thought he was talking about the year, not his rating
2-after the game, I noticed my opponent had two bishops of the same color.
3-as Black, forgot which way the pawns were moving in the endgame
4-attempted to checkmate, but blocked by one of opponent's pawns, which was hidden from view behind his queen!
5-Chair was too short to see over the pieces.
6-backward pawns
7-bad move in a bad position
8-bank rank mate was overlooked
9-beans and bananas for breakfast
10-boss came in while you were playing on the Internet at wor
11-castled into it
12check was overlooked
13-checkmate threat was overlooked
14-confused MCO column 12, note 6 with column 21, note 9 and lost queen
15-counterplay was overlooked
16-created holes
17-developed my pieces too slowly or not at all
18-diarrhea during the end game
19-doubled pawns
20-drawn game repeatedly declined by my opponent at least a dozen times
21-endgame ruined my superior opening preparation
22-endgame technique is weak
23-en passant move was forgotten
24-everyone watching my game agreed I was winning except my opponent
25-exposed king
26-faulty exchange
27-forgot to say "J'adoube" and lost Queen while adjusting it
28-forgot to stop clock while looking for the TD to ask what the time control was
29-full moon
30-glass chess set pieces opponent brought looked the same, lost Queen
31-got too fancy
32-greed
33-hallucinated or ghost affect
34-heart attack or stroke
35-hypnotized by opponent and a spectator named Dr. Zukar
36-I was winning on time until my opponent checkmated me
37-knocked king over while I tried to shake my opponent's hand in a draw offer
38-long diagonal threat was overlooked
39-lost on time while I considered my opponent's draw offer
40-lucky checkmate my opponent found before I could checkmate him
41-mishandled pieces
42-missed opportunity
43-neglect of center
44-noise
45-opening preparation poor
46-opponent did not follow my opening preparation that led to mate
47-opponent had beaten a master the round before - with an iron bar
48-opponent had no bra and bent over the pieces too much
49-opponent sneezed on the chess set; said he had a contagious disease or bird flu
50-opponent spent too much time in the book stalls during the opening
51-opponent would not resign when he was in a lost position
52-opposition of kings by my opponent
53-perpetual check didn't last very long to avoid the 50 move rule
54-played the King's Gambit Accepted and lost a pawn early on move two
55-poison pawn or piece was grabbed
56-positional errors
57-queen and king looked too much alike in this East European chess set; lost Queen
58-removed a defender and dropped a piece
59-right moves were made, but not in the right order
60-rook sacrifice failed when he took my Queen instead
61-sacrifice overlooked
62-sacrificed a piece, but then forgot why
63-stalemate avoided
64-stopped analysis one move short
65-studied How to Beat Bobby Fischer and was unprepared for other opppnents
66-sunglasses by my opponent blinded me from the glare
67-tactical error; faulty tactics
68-team captain said a draw was no good for the team, so I resigned
69-tempo loss
70-theoretical draw doesn't work in practice
71-thought rook and pawn ending was a draw; he had the rook and I had the pawn
72-time control must have changed; thought it was 40 moves in 5 hours, not 40 in 2
73-time pressure by my opponent; too much distraction watching the flag rise
74-toilet break was too long; shouldn't have eaten 4 burritos and tacos at once
75-transposed opening moves
76-tried for too much
77-uncoordinated pieces
78-underestimated my opponent
79-unjustified attack
80-unlucky pairing with Nakamura; played blitz chess and lost
81-weakened castled King's position
82-went out for a walk in the fresh air, forgot about tournament, kept walking
83-wrong rook
84-zugzwanged my opponent, but then he found a way out
And I will add…


85-after analyzing my correspondence game for an hour, played my move on the server but didn’t check to make sure it was the position I had been analyzing.