Pissants Who Refuse To Resign

 

     Pissant - slang for an insignificant or contemptible person or thing. Yesterday I was whiling away some time playing online and was mildly annoyed to have met a couple of opponents who refused to resign dead lost positions and two who simply abandoned the game. 

     I really don't understand this, but guess some people won't resign because they don't like losing and/or they have extremely fragile egos and prefer this childish behavior to manning up and admitting defeat. 

     Then last night I witnessed on television the appalling display by our president and his followers and wondered how to explain their behavior. 

     At some point we decided to drive over to the Arby's drive-thru to pick up a couple of salads. On the way home we decided we should have picked up a couple of soft drinks and so stopped at a beverage drive-thru. 

     There was a tow tuck sitting in the lane with its lights flashing and it was blocking the exit. We witnessed a screaming, vulgar name calling confrontation between the white tow truck drive and a black customer in which they were threatening to kill each other. We could not leave because we were blocked in by cars arriving behind us. 

     When the black guy finally got in his car and backed out, the tow truck driver was screaming at others whose cars were blocked not to let the guy leave. Fortunately, when the black guy left it unblocked things and made it possible for several cars to back out because the tow truck was still blocking the exit. 

     As we were all leaving the tow truck driver stood in the parking lot and in a fit of rage continued screaming at everyone. It reminded us of the behavior of the people that we saw on television. 

     It also reminded us of what the Apostle Paul wrote in the Bible in Second Timothy when he said, "...men will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, unloving, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, without love of good...traitorous, reckless, conceited, lovers of pleasure..." Even if you are not a believer, that description pretty much describes what we are seeing. 

     It seems that some people, despite overwhelming evidence to the contrary, will, no matter what the cost, go to any lengths to protect their beliefs and self-image. 

     It is called grandiose narcissism when feelings of superiority or dominance struggle to accept or even comprehend defeat. Apparently that is something many people cannot do. For such people defeat threatens their inflated self-worth and they avoid personal responsibility by attributing their defeats to other people's shortcomings.  

     In the 1950s, psychologist Leon Festinger published When Prophecy Fails in which he documented the actions of a cult called The Seekers who believed in an imminent apocalypse on a set date. 

     When the apocalypse did not occur, The Seekers did not question their beliefs, but provided alternative explanations. Festinger called this cognitive dissonance. Simply put, cognitive dissonance is a discrepancy between what a person believes and what actually happens. 

     People suffering from cognitive dissonance often reduce their distress by doubling down on their beliefs and denying evidence in order to protect their self-image. Their reluctance to admit defeat, even when all is hopelessly lost, may simply be because they are unable to accept that they have lost. In fact, some are incapable of even comprehending it! 

     There is evidence to suggest there are two main forms of narcissism: grandiose narcissism and vulnerable narcissism. The latter is characterized by neuroticism, feelings of shame and introversion. 

     Grandiose narcissism is characterized by denial of defeat. These people are likely to exhibit grandiosity, aggression and dominance over others. 

     According to researchers from Pennsylvania State University, this type of narcissism is associated with overt self-enhancement, denial of weaknesses, intimidating demands of entitlement and devaluation of people that threaten their self-esteem. Such people are described as having high self-esteem and inflated self-worth, competitive, dominant and having an inflated self-image regarding their skills, abilities and attributes. Defeat deflates their self-worth. 

     Instead of accepting personal responsibility for defeat these people blame others because they cannot recognize or acknowledge that they are at fault for their own failure. Their denial of weaknesses and devaluation of others results in a lack of comprehension that it’s even possible for them to lose. 

     The simple fact is that when something happens that goes against their beliefs, some people reduce the mental distress by any means possible. Further, researchers in Australia found that refusing to apologize after doing something wrong allowed the perpetrator to keep their self-esteem intact. 

     Regarding Donald Trump, one researcher stated that if his denial of the election loss is a product of grandiose narcissism and cognitive dissonance, don’t hold your breath waiting for an apology or a graceful concession speech. 

    Likewise, if you are beating somebody in an online game and they happen to be suffering from grandiose narcissism and cognitive dissonance don't expect them to resign and don't be surprised if just for spite they sneak off into cyberspace and make you wait for their time to expire.